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Showing posts with the label #Avoidantattachment

Why Your Partner May Be Like Your Parent

#anxiouslyattached #Avoidantattachment #DismissingAvoidantAttachment #FearfulAvoidantAttachment #HealthyRelationships #SecurelyAttached  www.psychologytoday.com May 13th, 2014 Perhaps nothing is as disheartening as the discovery—after years of trying to escape from your dysfunctional childhood—that you have actually managed to recreate it. One woman, the daughter of a hypercritical and demanding mother, recently talked with me about her recently-ended, two-decades-long marriage: "I still have issues with feeling capable and doing things right. Unfortunately, I married my mother and was never able to feel competent in my husband’s eyes, either. I also never really felt loved by him, in the same way, I didn’t feel loved by my mother.” A man emailed me recently with similar concerns: “On the surface, my wife and my mother have nothing in common. My wife is petite and blonde, well-educated, polished, and sophisticated; my brunette and big-boned mother is none of thos...

3 Reasons Why People Shut Down Emotionally

#Rejection #Avoidantattachment #Judgment #Shame #Emotions #Triple5LightTherapy #BlackMaleTherapist #BlackTherapist #LGBTAffirmingTherapy #Triple5LightTherapy Loving someone who shuts down, stonewalls you, or simply will not communicate, causes a quandary, particularly if you can tell by their lack of engagement that something is going on deep below the surface. Alternatively, if you have shut down emotionally yourself, you might review some of the following reasons why people close themselves off and ask yourself if one or more of them ring true for you. #1 Fear of Rejection If you or someone you love has experienced trauma, voicing your needs or feelings is a significant risk. Often, people managing life after trauma feel vulnerable and expressing their feelings opens them up emotionally to additional pain or rejection. Sharing feelings in the wake of grief also poses communication challenges since individuals processing complex emotions feel fear of opening the floodgates. If you hav...