Skip to main content

12 Reasons Why Couples Break Up

#Couplestherapy #Arguments #Finances #DomesticViolence #BlackMaleTherapist #Triple5LightTherapy #AfricanAmericantherapist


Whether it’s a relatively new relationship or a long-time marriage, breaking up is hard. Research published in the Journal of Family Psychology shows that breakups increase psychological distress and reduce life satisfaction. Often, the negative effects of a breakup can impact one’s mental health for months, even years, after the dissolution.

After a relationship goes south, it’s important to take stock of what went wrong. This can be done by yourself or with the help of a therapist and it can prevent you from entering a similarly vulnerable situation in the future.

It’s also important to orient yourself to the common things that lead to breakups. This can help normalize your own situation and perhaps steer you down a better path in the future. Remember, breaking up is a part of life: approximately half of first-time marriages end in divorce and research shows that more than one in three unmarried people between the ages of 18 and 35 years have experienced at least one breakup in the past two years. In other words, this is not just a "you" problem.

Why Couples Break Up

Here are the top-12 reasons why couples break up, according to scientific research conducted on couples in Britain and published in the journal PLOS-ONE.

  1. Grew apart
  2. Arguments
  3. Unfaithfulness
  4. Lack of respect
  5. Different interests
  6. Moved
  7. Money problems
  8. Not sharing housework
  9. Difficulties with sex
  10. Domestic violence
  11. Not having children
  12. Drinking/drugs/gambling

Interestingly, the results were relatively consistent for men and women. Both genders cited "growing apart" and "arguments" as the top-two dissolution factors. "Lack of respect" was a more important factor for women than men, as were "money problems," "not sharing household responsibilities," and "domestic violence."

Other research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that many problems that ultimately led to a divorce (e.g., communication issues, infidelity) were present at the start of the relationship. It’s important to tune into warning signs early and not expect these things to correct themselves on their own.

It’s also important to keep in mind that, as hard as it may seem, you do heal after a breakup. One study found that divorcing couples reap significant psychological gains from the dissolution of their marriages and that men and women tend to benefit equally.

“Divorce works,” state the authors. “The evidence suggests that marital dissolution eventually produces a rise in psychological well-being. For those couples who take it, the leap into the dark seems to improve their lives.”

Conclusion

Breaking up can be an emotionally devastating experience. But it’s important to learn from it. Take time to reflect on what went wrong and what you might be able to do in the future to protect yourself from another letdown. Research suggests that breakups hurt more when couples’ lives are more intertwined (e.g., you live together, you share finances, you have children or pets together, you share the same friend network). Take this into account when you’re ready to explore a new relationship.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Daylight saving time begins soon: when do we change the clocks?

#Daylightsavingtime #March8 Since the winter solstice on Dec. 21, 2019, the nights have been getting shorter, and the days are longer. So, when do we change the clocks? Daylight saving time (often erroneously said as daylight savings time) begins Sunday, March 8, 2020. via GIPHY That Sunday, the clocks will spring forward, causing areas that practice daylight saving time to lose an hour (don't worry, the hour is gained back in the fall). When the clock strikes 2 a.m., the time will change to be 3 a.m. via GIPHY Most of the United States practices daylight saving time,  much to the disdain of lawmakers including  Lancaster County Sen. Scott Martin (R-Martic Township). Arizona is the only state that refrains from practicing daylight saving due to the summertime heat. The residents of Arizona prefer their cooler nights as a break from the harsh temperatures,  according to the National Geographic. The amount of sunlight ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Five Simple Ways to Start Communicating More Mindfully

#Communication #HealthyRelationship #Mindfulness  If you've ever practiced mindfulness, you're probably already aware of the many benefits it offers for the willing and dedicated practitioner. When we open ourselves to this practice, we create the potential for our lives to be transformed in ways that might seem subtle but are truly life-altering. Though many of the benefits of mindfulness are personal and internal—improved concentration, expanded sense of awareness, increased patience, and enduring states of tranquility, to name a few—some important aspects of the practice can positively affect our external experience as well. Take communication, for example. Using mindfulness in our communication with others can improve our relationships and help us navigate even the most difficult conversations. If you already have a practice of cultivating mindfulness, a little intention is all you’ll need to start applying it to your communication. If you haven’t yet developed a pra...
Post a Comment
Read more

9 things about MLK's speech and the March on Washington

 #MLK  #MartinLutherKingJr  #MarchonWashington #IHaveaDream "I have a dream this afternoon that my four little children will not come up in the same young days that I came up within, but they will be judged on the basis of the content of their character, not the color of their skin." The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. spoke these words in 1963, but this was not the speech that would go down as one of the most important addresses in US history. King spoke these words in Detroit, two months before he addressed a crowd of nearly 250,000 with his resounding "I Have a Dream" speech at the March on Washington for Freedom and Jobs on August 28, 1963. Several of King's staff members actually tried to discourage him from using the same "I have a dream" refrain again. As we all know, that didn't happen. But how this pivotal speech was crafted is just one of several interesting facts about what is one of the most important moments in the 2...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why the Beach Is Good for Your Mental Health

   #beach,#water #sun #mentalhealth # physicalhealth When the sun is out, and warm weather is in the forecast, heading to the beach is a no-brainer for most.  But what makes the beach such an excellent place for mental health? Three words—water, sun, and air. All of these natural elements offer some form of mental health benefits that helps the mind relax and allow the opportunity for social gathering. Being Near Crisp Blue Water Can Improve Your Overall Health Being near blue bodies of water like oceans, pools, rivers, lakes, and ponds can potentially provide various mental and physical health benefits such as: Improved relaxation Better social interactions A boost in brain health Enhanced physical activity Because of the many benefits of being near water, health practitioners are beginning to recommend getting near (or going in) bodies of water to improve your overall well-being. Vitamin D From the Sun Can Help Boost Your Mood Experts have found moderate sunlight to pos...
Post a Comment
Read more