12 Reasons Why Couples Break Up

#Couplestherapy #Arguments #Finances #DomesticViolence #BlackMaleTherapist #Triple5LightTherapy #AfricanAmericantherapist

Whether it’s a relatively new relationship or a long-time marriage, breaking up is hard. Research published in the Journal of Family Psychology shows that breakups increase psychological distress and reduce life satisfaction. Often, the negative effects of a breakup can impact one’s mental health for months, even years, after the dissolution.

After a relationship goes south, it’s important to take stock of what went wrong. This can be done by yourself or with the help of a therapist and it can prevent you from entering a similarly vulnerable situation in the future.

It’s also important to orient yourself to the common things that lead to breakups. This can help normalize your own situation and perhaps steer you down a better path in the future. Remember, breaking up is a part of life: approximately half of first-time marriages end in divorce and research shows that more than one in three unmarried people between the ages of 18 and 35 years have experienced at least one breakup in the past two years. In other words, this is not just a "you" problem.

Why Couples Break Up

Here are the top-12 reasons why couples break up, according to scientific research conducted on couples in Britain and published in the journal PLOS-ONE.

Grew apart
Arguments
Unfaithfulness
Lack of respect
Different interests
Moved
Money problems
Not sharing housework
Difficulties with sex
Domestic violence
Not having children
Drinking/drugs/gambling

Interestingly, the results were relatively consistent for men and women. Both genders cited "growing apart" and "arguments" as the top-two dissolution factors. "Lack of respect" was a more important factor for women than men, as were "money problems," "not sharing household responsibilities," and "domestic violence."

Other research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that many problems that ultimately led to a divorce (e.g., communication issues, infidelity) were present at the start of the relationship. It’s important to tune into warning signs early and not expect these things to correct themselves on their own.

It’s also important to keep in mind that, as hard as it may seem, you do heal after a breakup. One study found that divorcing couples reap significant psychological gains from the dissolution of their marriages and that men and women tend to benefit equally.

“Divorce works,” state the authors. “The evidence suggests that marital dissolution eventually produces a rise in psychological well-being. For those couples who take it, the leap into the dark seems to improve their lives.”

Conclusion

Breaking up can be an emotionally devastating experience. But it’s important to learn from it. Take time to reflect on what went wrong and what you might be able to do in the future to protect yourself from another letdown. Research suggests that breakups hurt more when couples’ lives are more intertwined (e.g., you live together, you share finances, you have children or pets together, you share the same friend network). Take this into account when you’re ready to explore a new relationship.

Comments

What is "intimacy avoidance"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

#Intimacy #Narcissistic Relationships #IntimacyAvoidance #Therapy, #Triple5light.com ACON Adult Children of Narcissists BAITING A narcissist loves to provoke a reaction from you, especially in public. They will provoke you into responding in an angry or emotional manner. (Your angry response is further evidence of your unbalanced state of mind). BLACK SHEEP The black sheep is blamed for just about everything that goes wrong within the dysfunctional family. They can’t do anything right. Their achievements are not recognized by the narcissistic parent and are swept under the carpet. BOUNDARIES Boundaries are a code of conduct or an unwritten set of rules which we consider to be reasonable behavior from those around us and our response when someone steps over the line. CLOSURE Closure in a normal relationship involves open and honest communication about what has gone wrong, you then wish each other well, say goodbye and move on. After a relationship with a narcissist e

How a Group of Gay Male Ballet Dancers Is Rethinking Masculinity

#Queerness #Dancers #Ballet #Masculinity #Dance #LGBTQ #Gay These men are finding new stages on which to express their #queerness, collapsing gender barriers in the world of dance. 1. The Ballerino When I was 15, I met a dancer from Canada’s Royal Winnipeg Ballet . The company had come to Los Angeles to dance in the Olympic Arts Festival , and my parents volunteered to host a post-performance dinner in our backyard. I recall about 200 people — family friends, Olympic officials and maybe 25 dancers — eating curry (is that right?) off paper plates. But that’s not what this is about. No, this is about the ballerino — my word for him — I met and what he represented to a lonely gay kid in Southern California in 1984, a kid who had never before met another gay person. Earlier that evening, I had seen the dancer turn, leap and smile onstage, expressing through the mute language of ballet who he was. Something about his movement told me he was gay, and I felt he was dancing not

Juneteenth: An important day that marks the end of slavery in the United States.

#Juneteenth #Hope #Empowerment #Celebration #EmancipationProclamation #AbrahamLincoln #Holiday #BlackAmerican #AfricanAmerican #AmericaHistory #AfricanAmericantherapist #Triple5LightTherapy The Emancipation Proclamation, issued by President Abraham Lincoln on January 1, 1863, declared freedom for enslaved people in Confederate states. However, it took over two years for the news to reach enslaved African Americans in Galveston, Texas. On June 19, 1865, Union Gen. Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston and personally announced the end of slavery, effectively emancipating the remaining enslaved individuals in Texas. His arrival and announcement marked a turning point in the history of slavery in the United States. This momentous event became known as Juneteenth, a combination of 'June' and 'nineteenth.' Juneteenth is a day to remember and celebrate. It's an opportunity to honor, recognize, and celebrate the achievements and contributions of Black Americans to the n

"Love is a combination of six ingredients: care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust". Bell Hooks

#AfricanAmerican #BellHooks #Love #Respect #WhereWeStand #ClassMatters "Love is a combination of six ingredients: care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust". Bell Hooks A writer, teacher and cultural critic, bell hooks is best known for her work examining systems of domination, especially racism and patriarchy, and how they may be overcome. She has published more than twenty books, including Talking Back: Thinking Feminist, Thinking Black; Killing Rage: Ending Racism , and Where We Stand: Class Matters . hooks says that uncovering and naming the forms of oppression in our society is an extension of her lifelong curiosity about love and her desire to see love manifested. “Perhaps the most common false assumption about love is that it means we will not be challenged or changed,” she once wrote in the Buddhist magazine Shambhala Sun . “When I write provocative social and cultural criticism that causes readers to stretch their minds, to think

Triple5Light Therapy

Search This Blog