Skip to main content

Five Simple Ways to Start Communicating More Mindfully




#Communication #HealthyRelationship #Mindfulness 

If you've ever practiced mindfulness, you're probably already aware of the many benefits it offers for the willing and dedicated practitioner. When we open ourselves to this practice, we create the potential for our lives to be transformed in ways that might seem subtle but are truly life-altering. Though many of the benefits of mindfulness are personal and internal—improved concentration, expanded sense of awareness, increased patience, and enduring states of tranquility, to name a few—some important aspects of the practice can positively affect our external experience as well. Take communication, for example. Using mindfulness in our communication with others can improve our relationships and help us navigate even the most difficult conversations.

If you already have a practice of cultivating mindfulness, a little intention is all you’ll need to start applying it to your communication. If you haven’t yet developed a practice of mindfulness, that’s a good place to start. In case the concept isn’t clear, mindfulness is essentially a practice of paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, with a spirit of awareness, acceptance, and nonjudgment. Mindfulness can be cultivated through formal meditation practice, or on its own throughout the course of your day. By focusing your attention on what you’re experiencing in the moment, and letting thoughts drift into and out of your awareness instead of pulling you away, you start to flex a mental muscle that can help you create radical transformations in your life.

When it comes to communication, there are five simple steps you can follow to bring about more mindfulness and match the words you say with the meaning you want to convey.

1. Set a Clear Commitment.

When we communicate with others—especially if that communication includes differences of opinion or requires some vulnerability—it can be easy to lose sight of our intention. That’s why it’s so important to make a clear commitment to yourself that can anchor your attention and help you stay focused as you navigate the conversation. Ask yourself, “What am I committed to creating in this conversation?” Then, whatever your response is—“connection,” “clarity,” “understanding,” etc.—make sure your words are aligned with that particular commitment.

2. Choose Your Words Carefully. 

It’s easy to get so caught up in our desire to be heard that we lose sight of what we really want to say. Talking mindlessly in this way can steer us away from what we truly want to express, or cause others to tune us out. Intention, one of the cornerstones of mindfulness, goes a long way when we’re communicating. Once you’re clear about the message you want to get across, use great care to choose words that directly convey that message—no more, no less. Mahatma Gandhi is known for saying, “Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” This is a helpful reminder to keep your message straight and to the point. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t be afraid of silence. Sometimes those pauses are exactly what the other person needs to process what you’ve said and respond mindfully in return.

3. Listen With All You’ve Got. 

No matter how eloquent we might be, our ability to communicate is only as good as our ability to listen. It’s in the listening, in fact, that mindfulness becomes most meaningful and impactful. Often, when someone’s speaking to us, we drift into our minds and start preparing our response. But there’s no way we can be fully present to what’s being said to us if we’re busy thinking about what we’ll say next. Treat the act of listening as a true mindfulness practice. Allow your attention to rest completely on the words being said to you; and any time your thoughts threaten to pull you away, gently return to the act of listening and center your awareness there again.



4. Let Connection Be Your Guide. 

Communication is about much more than the words being exchanged between two or more people; it includes body language, tone of voice, timing, and much more. Keeping this in mind can help us bring all of our presence and awareness to our conversations, enabling us to communicate clearly and be grounded, graceful recipients of what others communicate to us. As you engage in the act of communication, practice attuning yourself to the other person. Eliminate distractions, and allow yourself to fully connect. Doing this will help you respond more effectively to what’s really being expressed.

5. Don’t Forget to Breathe.

In mindfulness practice, the breath is one of our most powerful tools. It helps us get out of our heads and into our experience; it moves us past impulsivity into intentionality. When you communicate with others, make it a point to connect with your breath, and use it as a way to support you in carrying out the previous four steps. You’ll be amazed at how much more grounded and clear-minded you can be on the other side of just one deep, intentional breath.

Effective communication is a valuable skill that takes effort, intention, and lots of practice to cultivate. By bringing the practice of mindfulness off the meditation cushion and into your daily conversations, you'll become a better communicator and enrich your relationships in the process. 


By Denise Fournier Ph.D., March 06, 2019

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beyond the Cliff | Laura van Dernoot Lipsky -Watch this Video, if you are in a profession that is about caring for others.

#LauravanDernootLipsky # TraumaStewardship #V icarioustrauma #Self-Care Laura van Dernoot Lipsky is the founder and director of the Trauma Stewardship Institute and author of T rauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others. She has worked directly with trauma survivors for 28 years, including survivors of  Laura van Dernoot Lipsky  , and acute trauma of all kinds, and natural disasters. Laura has been active in community organizing and movements for social and environmental justice and has taught on issues surrounding systematic oppression and liberation theory. Trauma Stewardship: How do we reduce clinician burnout? What helps people develop resiliency so that the important work they do in the world isn’t hindered by vicarious trauma and their own lack of self-care? The cumulative aspect of ongoing exposure to suffering and trauma is largely ignored in health care, criminal justice, and other fields. Laura van Dernoot Lips...

Can Coffee Cut a Woman's Stroke Risk?

#Stroke  #Coffee #WomensHealth #HealthNews #Research A Swedish study shows even a cup a day reduces the risk; Experts say more proof needed Women who have at least one cup of coffee -- or even five cups -- daily may be reducing their risk of stroke by as much as 25 percent, new Swedish research shows. And women who don't drink coffee at all may actually be  increasing  their risk for stroke, the researchers noted. However, the researchers added, these findings are preliminary and should not cause any change in coffee-drinking habits. "Results from our study in women showed that consumption of 1 to 5 cups of coffee per day was associated with a 22 to 25 percent lower risk of stroke, compared with consumption of less than 1 cup a day," said lead researchers Susanna Larsson, from the National Institute of Environmental Medicine at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm. "Even small amounts of coffee may reduce the risk of stroke," she added. ...

Little, the upcoming comedy movie directed by Tina Gordon [Trailer]

#ReginaHall #IssaRae #MarsaiMartin #JustinHartley #ToneBell #RachelDratch #Little Girls Trip's Regina Hall and Black-ish's Marsai Martin both star as Jordan Sanders - Hall as the take-no-prisoners tech mogul adult version of Jordan and Martin as the 13-year-old version of her who wakes up in her adult self's penthouse just before a do-or-die presentation.  Insecure's Issa Rae plays Jordan's long-suffering assistant April, the only one in on the secret that her daily tormentor is now trapped in an awkward tween body just as everything is on the line. Little is an irreverent new comedy about the price of success, the power of sisterhood and having a second chance to grow up - and glow up - right.

Kate Bush's "50 Words for Snow"

  #50WordsforSnow #KateBush #RunningUpThatHill From up on that hill, perhaps wearing a capelet over a flowy Victorian gown, Kate Bush has been regarded as a spirit saint of fearless individuality by a generation of musicians such as Björk and Tori Amos as well as younger mystics-in-training such as Florence Welch, Leslie Feist and Bat for Lashes. All that adoration in the ether must’ve stirred the reclusive British singer-songwriter to create not just one album this year — “Director’s Cut,” a reinterpretation of songs from “The Sensual World” and “The Red Shoes” — but also a second one, “50 Words for Snow,” an art-song cycle that veers from delicate to blustery but always with a sheen of elegance.  Bush grounds her songs in the permafrost of winter, with her piano work sounding like the first stirrings after a cold snap. “Among Angels” could be the soundtrack for plants stretching toward the new spring sun, but as much as it’s connected to the natural world, the s...